


And I Can Finally Breathe Again

by rebelforce



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: All relationships are eventual and or slow burn, F/F, F/M, M/M, TLJ Spoilers, sorry I'm the devil, this is war but everyone needs to love someone tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 16:48:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13345365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelforce/pseuds/rebelforce
Summary: When Finn hugs Rey after the Battle of Crait.When Black Squadron finally comes back to their home with the Resistance.When Rey meets Rose for the first time and suddenly understands what Finn is feeling when he looks at Poe.These are the moments when they can breathe again.





	1. A Chance

**Author's Note:**

> I told myself I was going to take a break from multi-chapter fics but HERE WE ARE. I'm my own worst enemy.

General Leia Organa had lived through enough bullshit for one day, thanks very much. In fact, she’d lived through enough bullshit for one life time, so when a member of her own fleet had decided to make a jab at her, everyone in the small cargo hold got a lesson in persistence. Leia was about to school them on the hopes and losses of war.

“Saw Gerrera used to say that one fighter with a sharp stick and nothing left to lose can take the day.”

When she’d started speaking, there had been chaos; but the air on the Millenium Falcon had fallen thick with tension, and was suddenly, blissfully, silent. 

“Jyn Erso said that,” someone sitting in the back against the wall piped up. 

If the situation had called for a smile, the General would have. “Yes,” she nodded. “She did say that. And what I’m trying to explain to you all is that no, this doesn’t look great. We’re floating through hyperspace right now with tremendous losses. Many of our own are dead. Many of our own are missing. Intelligence personnel, admirals… pilots.” 

Poe Dameron took a sharp inhale of breath, loud enough for Rey and Finn to hear him in their positions to his right. 

“So what I’m saying is no,” The General started, her slight frame barely noticeable in contrast to her enormous presence, “no, there’s no kriffing plan. But Jyn said something else that day, and it’s about taking chances.”

Several of the remaining Resistance members bustled at hearing their leader curse, but the other half, those that knew her as a person instead of an authority figure, barely blinked. The General scanned the crowd around her, the 50 something remaining members of her cause. The only people remaining, it seemed, that still believed in her. 

“’If we can make it to the ground, we’ll take the next chance. And the next. On and on until we win, or the chances are spent.’ I’m trying to find us some chances. It will take time. It will take resources. But I am not about to let the First Order pick us off until we’ve given up. You are free to go if you no longer believe in what we’ve gathered to do, but at that point-“ The older woman finally stopped pacing, her hands meeting in front of her. “At that point, you may as well join ranks with the First Order.” 

Not a single being in the room spoke, the sentence (not a threat, but could have served as one coming from anyone but their leader) hung in the air. After all the years as a politician, as a mother, and then as a General, Leia knew exactly what to say to rally a crowd. This time had been no different. 

“We’ll take the chances as they come. At ease, everyone.” 

A collective breath echoed upon the durasteel walls of the Falcon and a dull roaring murmur of conversation began as everyone went back to their previous activities. 

Rey turned to Finn and Poe, stretching her arms above her head to dispel the tension in her shoulders. “Who was Jyn Erso?” 

The question had been directed at Poe, but he had already taken off, his footsteps heading towards the retreating rebellion leader. 

“General-“ He rushed behind her, placing a hand at her elbow. “The missing pilots, any word? Do you know where-“

“You know I don’t have any word, Commander.” Her tone was strong, but her face had softened, looking into the eyes of the man she considered her surrogate son. “I would have told you.” 

“If we could just send out a comm I can… we could…” He trailed off, his eyes landing on where he still had his superior’s arm in a death grip. He released her, pulling back as if she’d electrocuted him. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Poe, it’s too dangerous to send anything out from this ship. The First Order will be tracking every move we make right now.” She placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. “Once we hit dirt, I’ll see what we can do.” 

“Yes ma’am,” Poe nodded, his eyes downcast. “Again, I’m sorry.”

He turned to walk away, but Leia continued. “Dameron, I knew your mother. You don’t have to call me ma’am.” 

Poe shot her a weak smile as he turned to walk away, and the expression made her relieved, if only slightly. If Poe Dameron wasn’t smiling, then the Resistance had really run out of chances. 

Unfortunately, Poe had been doing very little in the smiling department lately, ever since he’d propelled the mission that successfully took out a First Order dreadnought. On paper, sure, he had made a dent in their fleet, but it was nothing compared to the losses that the Resistance had taken that day. 

Tallie Lintra. Paige Tico. And eventually, Admiral Ackbar and Admiral Haldo. Followed by countless more, as if Poe himself had kicked over the first rock in an avalanche of destruction. 

He felt terrible. Hell, he probably looked terrible, and he definitely smelled terrible. They’d been aimlessly circling hyperspace for days now, waiting for someone, anyone, to respond to their distress calls. Lieutenant Connix was still sitting by the comm controls, vigilantly listening for someone, anyone, trying to make contact with them. So far, no allies. 

Most painfully, in Poe’s case, there still had not been any contact from his team. Hours before the evacuation of D’Qar, Black Squadron had been sent out on a mission. A simple reconnaissance mission, a simple ‘no big deal, see you later’ type of mission. 

And now they were out there, who knows where, homeless and out of the loop. Poe hoped that maybe they’d all bitten the bullet and gone home, Jess to Dandoran, Snap and Kare to Sarq 22, so Snap could finally meet her parents. He tried not to imagine the First Order seeing their X wings in the sky and picking them off like bugs, unprotected and without their leader. They wouldn’t be serving a much better fate now, with Poe on the Falcon, but at least he would know where they were. 

A hand grabbed Poe’s elbow as he walked by, and he startled, turning to see the offender. 

“Buddy, we’re going to need you to stop pacing.” Finn tried out a smile, the gesture barely reaching his eyes. Worry on a person’s face was hard to mask. 

Rey, still sitting where Poe had left them, parroted Finn’s emotion, her eyes wide and staring at Poe. “We’ve been worried about you.”

Poe scoffed, surprised by her words. “Me? There are people far more deserving of your worry and attention right now than me.” 

“Maybe, but you’re far more fun to talk to.” Finn quipped, and this time his smile was real. “We were going to go check on Rose. Do you want to come with us?”

Poe opened his mouth to respond, but thought better of it. “I should try and get some sleep. I’ll catch up with you later?” 

They nodded, but Poe still caught the hurt in their eyes. As if all he needed today was one more person who’d managed to be hurt by him. 

Finn and Rey watched him go, his gait the unmistakable swagger of an exhausted man. 

“He’s going to get himself sick, worrying like that.” Rey sighed, standing so that she was level with Finn. 

“Maybe,” Finn matched her sigh, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Want to go stare at Rose while she sleeps?” 

Rey smiled at him, her eyes twinkling with humor. “Sure.” 

~~

Their first chance came on day 6 in the form of a civilian ship. They had all panicked at first, blasters drawn and orders commanded. Finn had already made his way down into the gunner’s seat when Lieutenant Connix realized what had approached them. 

“It’s a civilian ship,” She announced, both bewildered and amused. “Look closer. It’s pristine.” 

The young woman was right. The star ship, looming just outside their windows now, was so glossy and massive they could make out the Falcon’s worse for wear reflection in the side. Any resistance members that knew anything about modern ships explained that it was a brand new model – an exorbitantly expensive brand new model. Whomever was on board was not a member of the lower class. 

A wookie’s shriek from the cockpit broke their stunned silence. Everyone looked to the General, hoping for a translation. 

“He says we’re stuck in a tractor beam.” There was a moment before she processed the words, but then her eyes widened. “Chewie! Get us out of here!”

Another yell from the cockpit must have meant something along the lines of “I can’t!” because now they were moving closer to the other ship, hopelessly at the mercy of whomever was on the other end. 

“What are the chances that this ship isn’t owned by the First Order?” Rey asked no one in particular, her hands pressed against the window. 

C-3PO clambered up beside her, waving a hand through the air in front of him. “Well considering that the amount of First Order registered ships is approximately one thousand seven hundred-“

“Shut up,” chorused almost a dozen voices, everyone’s eyes focused on the ship that they were now almost inside of. It only took a few long seconds before they landed inside the ship’s cargo hold. 

The General was the first one at the door, ignoring Poe’s protective arm and the blaster at his side. There was a look on her face that no one could quite assign an emotion to, but she didn’t seem particularly worried as the ramp lowered. 

A man approximately in his sixties came into view. The sharply dressed nature of the man, in his powder blue cape and sparkling silver shoes was almost a comical contrast to the dingy, dirty ramp of the Millennium Falcon. With a rather dazzling smile, he climbed it anyways, his attention focused on the small form of their general. 

Finn and Rey exchanged a glance, wondering who the hell this man was and why no one was absolutely panicking. 

“Lando Calrissian.” The General started, answering their question. “What the hell are you doing here?” 

“Princess Leia Organa,” Lando answered, his smile only widening. “Or is it General now?”

She shook her head, but Rey didn’t miss the amusement in her tone, “It’s been General since the last time you saw me.” 

“Well I guess that’s about right,” Lando stepped forward and they hugged, two old friends meeting in strange circumstances. “So. I hear you all have one hell of a pest control problem?”


	2. A Luxury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A really, really big ship.

“Holy kriff,” Poe whispered next to Rey, and she turned to him with wide eyes. 

“Do you know this guy?” She grabbed his chin so he had to look at her and quirked an eyebrow at his confused expression. 

“That’s Lando Calrissian.” Poe stated, shrugging. 

Finn made a face, “So we gathered. Who is he?”

“An old friend of Han’s,” Poe explained. “Conman of the galaxy, some would call him.” 

Before anyone could say more on the subject, Leia and her old friend were turning to leave. Leia reached a had back, motioning for someone. 

“Dameron, Connix, come with me,” She instructed, and then turned to face Finn and Rey. “You two, stay here with the Falcon.” 

Leia stepped forward, leaning in until Rey could feel the words being spoken into her skin. “Make sure this isn’t a trap.” 

They exchanged a glance, and then Leia and her crew were gone. The remaining people on the ship began to look around, but an anxious energy had fallen over all of them, dampening the excitement of being on such a large and glamorous cruiser. 

“What’d she say to you?” Finn was at Rey’s shoulder, his voice low. There was a sheen of sweat on his brow that Rey had come to recognize as his sign of stress. 

Rey leaned in and whispered the General’s word to his friend, ending with a raise of her eyebrows. She didn’t have a bad feeling about it, per say, but if the General was weary, she would be to. 

But it wasn’t a trap. Poe, Kaydel, the General and now Lando came back just thirty minutes later. They were all sporting smiles, but now Poe was wearing Lando’s cape and an even bigger smile than the rest of them. 

“That’s quite a look, Poe,” Rey teased, tugging at the posh fabric he was draped in. 

“Genuine Corellian silk,” Poe wiggled his brows at them, holding the cape out to Finn. “Here buddy, give this a feel.” 

“That’s… actually, that’s really nice,” Finn cooed over the blue silk, almost for too long, and then realized that he’d been effectively stroking Poe’s bicep the entire time. “Oh uh, sorry.” He blushed, turning away. 

Poe smirked as Finn removed his hand, but Rey definitely noticed the pink rising up on the skin around his collar. 

She’d tease Finn for it later. 

~~

 

Later, apparently, would mean tucked away in the game room of their new luxury Resistance base. The new luxury Resistance base that literally no one had seen coming. Lando had received their distress calls from Crait, and to Leia’s dismay had decided to surprise them in transit instead of actually answering her call. 

The cruiser was enormous. Bigger than any ship Rey had ever seen a civilian have but she also knew never to be surprised when it came to money. The wealthy did exorbitant things with their money and in this scenario, that had worked out in their favor. There were about 50 members of the Resistance left needing a place to stay, and the cruiser sported 20 bedrooms and lounges that would certainly suffice (Rey had gasped at the number, while Finn had choked on his own spit and Poe had to clobber him on the back as gently as possible). They had already been used to sharing dorms on D’Qar, and the swimming pool on the lower deck was enough to stop people from complaining about crashing on a couch. 

Especially not a couch covered in fur. 

“Rey you have to come sit on this.” Finn had nestled himself into the corner of one of the couches in the game room, his face aptly shoved into a furry pillow. “I think this is my bed. I’m calling this as my bed.” 

“What if I wanted this as my bed?” Rey huffed as she sat down, luxuriating in the cushions. “Oh that is nice.” 

“You can’t have it because I called it,” Finn stuck his tongue out at her, ducking when she made a move to pinch it with her fingers. 

“Then where am I to sleep?” She pouted, raking her fingers through the fur on the seat beneath her. It reminded her of Chewie, if he bathed more often and actually brushed out his fur. 

“Well I don’t know,” Finn exaggerated his tone, pointing across the room to a purple velvet sofa. “Over there. Or over there.” He then pointed to a silver couch that looked like it were made of the same silk as the cape Lando had given to Poe, which was now draped over Kaydel as she sat in a chair reading her data pad. 

“You guys could probably get a bedroom you know.” Poe pointed out, waving a billiards cue in the air like a light saber. “Rey, how’s my form?”

“Not great,” She deadpanned as he dropped the stick to the floor, the sound muffled by the plush carpet below their feet. “Why would we need to get a bedroom?”

Poe blushed a little, gripping the cue in his hands once he’d retrieved it. “It’s just more comfortable, you know? A real bed. You guys are certainly high enough up to pull some strings and get one of the bedrooms.” 

Finn and Rey exchanged a look, shrugging once they realized they were on the same page. 

“I’m happy to sleep on my fur ball couch,” Finn proclaimed, throwing his arm across the back of the sofa. 

“And I’m happy to sleep on the purple couch next to Finn’s furry couch.” Rey leaned into Finn, her head resting on his chest. “Kaydel, where are you going to sleep?” 

“Oh, I got a bed,” She looked up from her data pad, meeting the betrayed looks of Finn and Rey. “What? I wanted to be as far away from the weirdos sleeping in the game room as possible.” 

Poe snorted as she winked at them, laughing at their scandalized expressions. “Kay what are you even doing on that thing?”

“I’m analyzing the statistics of this ship as a base.” She was looking down at the screen again, smoothing her hair distractedly. “It’s honestly… a great solution. Large enough to support us all. It’s mobile, so we never have the same coordinates. And even better, the First Order won’t recognize us because it’s a civilian ship, registered to someone that probably isn’t on their immediate radar. This was… a really good idea.” 

Kaydel looked up again, Rey staring at her with confusion, Finn looking like he was already asleep, and Poe chuckling, his shoulders shaking up and down. “What?”

“I didn’t realize we’d invited C-3PO to come hang out with us,” Poe laughed, sitting down on the couch next to her. 

“That’s mean, and it’s good information!” Kaydel insisted, turning the pad to show him. “See?” 

“Yeah, I see Kay.”

Poe was still laughing when the General joined them in the room, and while she demanded nothing of them in the moment, they all set noticeably straighter, Rey jabbing Finn in the ribs to  
wake him from his impromptu nap. 

“At ease, you guys,” Leia leaned against the pool table, her grey dress slightly disheveled from being cramped in the Falcon, but her hair looked perfect still, the mark of a woman put together even in adversity. “Finn, where’s Rose?” 

“In the room next door.” He sat up, making himself look more presentable. “She’s still sleeping, but I think it will be better to have her in a real bed.” 

Leia nodded, her hands clasped together. “I’m glad she’s doing well. I don’t know how long we’re staying here, this is really a… trial.”

“But ma’am it’s a really great plan, if it works, I-“ Kaydel had spoken up, moving to hand her data pad to Leia. 

The older woman merely held out a hand to stop her, smiling endearingly. “Thank you, Lieutenant. I don’t need to see it.” 

Kaydel tried to hide her disappointment, tucking the pad under her arm and harrumphing when Poe ruffled the back of her head. 

“Rey I may have scared you earlier, inadvertently,” Leia turned her attention to the young Jedi sitting on the couch, her legs curled up beneath her. “I wanted to be cautious trusting Lando, trusting this transaction, if you’ll call it that.” 

“What do you mean?” Rey asked, her brows knitted together with concern. 

“The first time I met Lando, there was a… misunderstanding. Our presence, Luke and I’s, in Cloud City was a set up by Lando to hand us over to Darth Vader himself.” 

They all gasped, audibly, like little kids listening to frightening stories with their friends. 

“He what? What are we even doing here?” Finn made a move to stand, stopped only by Rey throwing an arm out to halt him. 

“Hear her out,” Rey scolded, turning her attention back to Leia. 

“It wasn’t his fault, and he ended up helping us escape but I wanted to cautious earlier. We can’t afford not to be, after losing so much and so many of our own.”

Poe was staring at his feet, words stewing in his mind. “General-“

“Commander. We’ll start the process of finding Black Squadron tomorrow. I promise.” 

The man sighed so strongly he drooped backwards into the couch he was sitting on, even his military posture wearing off with the good news. "Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome. But this isn’t just for you. Our numbers have depleted and we’ll need all hands on deck. I’m not against scavenging for a few more hands.” Leia made to move towards the door, “I want all of you to get some sleep tonight. It’ll be the first good sleep we’ve all had in a week.” 

She was right. Once the lights had been turned off and goodnights had passed their way around the room, Rey and Finn were asleep the second their heads hit the pillows. Poe laid in the dark a little longer, eyes staring openly into a ceiling he couldn’t see, but for the first time in a while, his sleeplessness wasn’t because of nightmares. 

Poe couldn’t sleep because he was finally, thankfully, getting to extend the lifeline to save all of his best friends.


	3. An Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey meets Rose, Rose is made of sunshine, and Poe gets to find his pilots.

Sleeping in space was nothing like sleeping planet side. On Jakku, Rey knew it was time to sleep when the temperature began to drop, the relentless heat of the day time simmering away in frigid desert nights. There was nothing to do but tuck away to bed, the walls of her AT-AT serving as shelter from the whipping sands outside. In space, while there were no whipping sands, and no unrelenting heat; there was also no sunlight, nothing to peak over the horizon to remind you that you’ve been unconscious for hours, and the day is now slipping away.   
Rey woke up that first morning on Lando’s ship (dubbed the Calrissian Circus by one of the maintenance workers) with her face pressed against a crushed velvet pillow. She’d almost forgotten her location in her dazed waking moments, the fabric on her skin unfamiliar yet welcome, but relaxed once she saw the rustled state of the couch Finn had slept on the night before. Finn’s body may not have been there, but Rey could still feel the warmth of his presence from the matted fur on the couch and the leather Resistance jacket thrown against the arm. 

Poe was not present in the room either, the blankets he’d been given folded neatly onto the back of his couch, a habit Rey is sure he picked up from his time in the Republic Navy. The room was silent despite the occasional voices from those walking past the door, but Rey felt safe in it, safe in the concept of them being at peace enough for now to sleep in and enjoy some silence. 

The soft rumble of her stomach, paired with the ache in her curled up legs, told Rey that it was time to stand and be a person, so with a content yawn, she untangled herself from her bed. There was no one outside of her door when she opened it, the hallway mostly empty aside from a house-keeping droid dusting a corner at end of the hall. Voices were trailing up from the floor beneath her, conversations and even laughter letting her know that everyone else’s day had very much already started. 

She met Poe on the plush carpet of the stairs, BB-8 trailing behind him like an ever faithful shadow. There was a glass of blue milk in his hand, which he extended to her in greeting, meeting half way down the staircase. 

“Good morning! This is for you,” Poe smiled at her as she took it, knocking the liquid back down her throat while simultaneously squashing the memory of Luke’s green milked creatures on Ach-To. “We thought you might end up sleeping the day away.” 

Rey shrugged, cupping her fingers around the cool surface of her glass. “I still feel like I could. Where’s Finn?” 

“Upstairs with Rose. She woke up this morning.” He laughed as Rey’s eyes widened, surprised at what she’d missed while she was sleeping. 

“Can- Can I see her? Does she want visitors?” Rey turned to run back up the stairs, BB-8 giving a protesting beep as they struggled to navigate the stairs to keep up. 

“Go ahead,” Poe responded, taking the stairs two at a time to follow her. “She’s been asking for you.” 

“Asking for me?” Rey meant to say out loud, but only thought, her brow furrowing with the idea that Rose had only been awake for a little while and was already asking for her. 

Rey had no impression of Rose other than the stories that Finn had told her, as well as the idea that she must be very brave, to have sacrificed herself the way she did for Finn’s safety. Rey owed Rose the debt of saving her best friend, a debt Rey wasn’t sure she’d ever understand how to repay. 

Poe stopped her from barging into the room, grabbing her elbow still covered by her wraps. “Knock first, always. But I admire your enthusiasm.” 

His knuckles were just about to make contact with the steel when Rey lost her nerve, attempting to pull him away from the room with her. 

“On second thought, maybe I should come back later?” Her voice squeaked with nerves, the prospect of meeting Rose suddenly too big a task for this soon in the day. 

Poe dug his heels into the ground, locking his hands around her wrist and stopping them short. “Rey.” 

Rey looked away from him, pretending to study the pattern on the ceiling. 

Poe grabbed her chin to force him to look at her and she almost pulled away, his lock on her arm keeping her still. “Rey. She’s going to love you.” 

“You don’t know that,” Her eyes were skeptical, the look of a person having gone for too long without social interaction. 

“No,” The corner of his eyes crinkled when he smiled, “but it’s easier to say she will than it is to worry that she won’t.” 

Rey sighed, thinking about all of the ways she was about to make a fool of herself, and let her body relax. “Okay. I’d have to do this eventually, right?”

“That’s the spirit.” Poe laughed as she tugged herself away from him, sending a soft punch into his shoulder. 

The room Rose was in was small but just as ornate as the rest of the ship. The smooth clean lines of the architecture were a direct contrast to the warmth Rey felt in her chest at the sight of Finn doting over his friend. He and Rose were chatting animatedly as Rey and Poe walked in, their happiness as contagious as the laughter of children. Rose turned away from Finn to greet her new guests, a smile spread across her face.

And Rey was, well… Rey was unprepared. 

She had seen Rose before, sure. Finn and Rey had spent many hours flanking either end of Rose’s bed, talking about anything that came to mind. Rose had always been their silent third, her face peaceful as she rested, their small supply of medicine working to keep her stable. 

Nothing could have prepared Rey for what Rose looked like when she smiled. The crinkle of her eyes and the broadness of her cheeks worked together to make the kindest looking face Rey had ever seen, even compared to Poe’s open warmth. “Rey of sunshine” she had been called before, but in this moment Rey felt as though it were Rose that had been deserving of that moniker the entire time, her demeanor far sweeter than Rey had ever been capable of being. 

It suddenly occurred to her that she hadn’t even bothered to look in a mirror that morning. 

“Hi,” the two women said simultaneously. Rose flipped over her hand on the bed, her palm opening up to the ceiling. Poe nudged Rey away from the doorway where they were still hovering, so Rey took the few steps to the bed, slipping her hand into the one Rose had offered and kneeling on the floor. 

Finn and Poe shot each other a look over the girls’ heads, both of them well aware of Rey’s imperviousness to touching someone she’d just met. Neither of them could bring themselves to comment, so Finn just reached out and squeezed Rey’s shoulder. 

“It’s great to finally meet you, Rey,” Rose’s smile grew impossibly, her hand warm against Rey’s. “Finn has told me so much about you.” 

“Finn exaggerates,” Rey quipped, “So unfortunately I don’t think I’ll live up to the hype.” Despite the joke, Rey laced their fingers together, tightening their grasp. “Thank you for saving him. Thank you for doing what I wasn’t there to do.” 

Rose shook her head, her eyes serious, “You were off learning how to save the galaxy, Rey. It’s only fair some of us pick up the slack.” 

Finn snorted, breaking the spell of the moment. “I’m sitting right here and I am not slack, Rose.” 

They all laughed, Poe moving to sit on the end of the bed by Rose’s feet. A somber silence fell over them, making Rey far too aware of the way her fingers had become interlocked with Rose’s. 

“Um,” Rey gently released the grasp, attempting to seem nonchalant by smoothing her hair away from her face and feeling the tie at the back of her head, making sure it was still sufficiently wrapped. “When can we show you around?”

If Rose’s face had fallen at the loss of Rey’s touch, it had immediately perked back up at the mention of her walking around. “Bed rest today, but tomorrow I can walk around.” 

“Slowly,” Finn specified, “And not for too long. Your ribs are still healing.” 

Rey wrinkled her nose, remembering the time she’d been out scavenging a ruined freighter. It was tall enough that she’d set up her typical pulley system, but the height was not enough for her to take extra precautions. One cocky push off of a pipe had sent her slipping, the ground coming up faster than she’d realized. The broken ribs that ensued had needed to be nursed for weeks, and Rey had worked through gritted teeth since taking time to heel simply was not an option. She did not envy Rose’s condition. 

She had just opened her mouth to tell the story when there was a soft knock on the door, and Kaydel poked her head in, her smile apologetic. “Poe, the General wants to see you.” 

Poe jumped up at the General’s name, his end of the mattress springing up from the loss of his weight. “Did she mention-“ 

“The pilots, Poe.” Kaydel raised her eyebrows at him, knocking her head to the side. “Go.” 

The commander hurried off in a rush, his farewell wave barely noticeable in his hurry. 

“Hi Rosie,” Kaydel hovered by the door for a moment, her expression soft. “How do you feel?” 

“Better now that everyone is safe,” She pressed a delicate hand to her side, “Ribs feel like bantha fodder though.”

Rey giggled, raising a hand over her mouth. There was a feeling in her own ribs, fluttery and light. She couldn’t quite place it, but it certainly didn’t feel like bantha fodder.

~~~~

 

“Kriff,” Poe muttered, turning around to retrace his steps. “Shoulda brought BB-8.” 

While Lando’s freighter had been an amazing solution to their problem, Poe had figured out one issue; it was easy to get lost. The hallways wound around each other, creating a pattern in the architecture that forced inhabitants to amble leisurely (this was a luxury ship after all), but Poe was in a hurry. He knew better than to keep Leia waiting. 

His luck finally struck in the form of C-3PO, standing at attention outside of a room that was blissfully familiar. “Commander Dameron! General Organa has been waiting for you.” 

“So I heard, pal,” Poe gave the droid a salute as he walked by, whipping into the room. 

The General was sitting with her feet against a control panel, an Abednedo Poe recognized from communications fidgeting with something in front of them. “You get lost, Dameron?” 

“Uh,” Poe settled in the seat next to her, nodding towards their company. “No.” 

The General shot him a look he’d seen a dozen times, but she didn’t press it, instead turning to the humanoid next to her. 

“You remember Owta from communications?” The two exchanged a nod of recognition. “He’s going to help us out. I promised you we’d take a shot at finding our pilots when we had the chance and Poe, sending comms from a civilian ship is about the best chance we’re going to get.” 

Poe nodded, leaning in towards them to see what Owta was feeding into the computer. “So what can we do?”

“One message,” Leia started, “It’s too risky to put them on a call, it’s too easy to hack into and record those. The First Order is wounded, we’ve stalled them, but the last thing they need is intel on our location or Black Squadron’s.” 

“You’re right. Sending one message out is quicker, but how do we let them know where we are?” Poe ran a hand over his face, his brain whirring. 

“We don’t. We’ll set a rendezvous point and set our courses there, then hope they all show up.” 

“And if they don’t?” 

Leia sat back in her chair, only letting sadness shadow her face for a moment. “Then I don’t know. But this is our chance to try.” 

“Okay,” Poe nodded, eager to get started. “Should I record it?” 

The General shook her head. “No, the First Order would recognize you. I can’t do it either. What we need is a voice they’ll recognize and trust enough to believe where it’s coming from.”   
Poe sat for a moment, his brain flicking through a mental catalogue of Resistance members Snap, Kare, or Jess would recognize. And then it hit him. 

“Rose.” 

“Rose?” The General quirked a brow. “The maintenance worker?” 

Of course. Poe felt surprised at his own stroke of genius. “Yeah. Jess Pava dated her sister before…” He stopped, remembering what had happened to Paige. “They were all very close.” 

“Okay.” Leia put a hand on his shoulder, giving him a squeeze. “That’ll work.” 

“Yeah?” Poe was breathless, happy to have come up with an idea that could actually work, happy to see his General agree with him. “Only problem is, she can’t get down here today.” 

“Well then I guess we’ll bring the control room to her,” Leia smiled, standing up. “You coming?”

“Of course,” Poe mirrored her, his feet strong beneath him. He swallowed, his mind racing as he helped Owta begin to move equipment, wires and buttons flying left and right. 

Poe’s heart flung around too, realizing that Jess had been off planet on a mission when D’Qar had been evacuated. Jess had no knowledge of the attack on the dreadnaught, either. Jess didn’t know that Paige Tico was dead, and Poe was going to have to be the one to tell her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Kelly Marie Tran is a LITERAL ray of sunshine and we don't deserve her. 2. I wrote this with fever induced vigor, so if it reads like a fever dream, that's because it basically was.


	4. A Reunion

Life, according to Rose Tico, had suddenly gotten very strange. It hadn’t been too long ago that Rose had spent most of her time with her head between pipes and wires, keeping the base on D’Qar running as smoothly as possible. Her days would start with work and end watching a holofilm with Paige (sometimes Jess would join them, but Rose could tell that Paige tried to keep that time reserved for the two of them). That’s just the way Rose’s life worked. It was unassuming and clinical, and she’d gotten used to living behind the scenes. 

Even just this morning, waking up to aching ribs and a sandpaper throat had been fairly low key. All Rose had been responsible for was getting better, and pretending that the Jell-O Finn was spoon feeding her was totally satisfying her hunger. 

She would have been perfectly content with that being the rest of her day, until Dameron had burst back into her room like a wookie on fire, shouting about plans and comms and pilots until Finn stood up stopped his hands from waving around through the air. Apparently, they needed Rose to send a message to the missing pilots, giving them the information they’d need to reconnect with the Resistance. 

Who was Rose to do anything but agree? When General Organa came knocking, you answered with a salute and a yes ma’am. The message had been awkward, at first, until Finn reminded her that she was talking to Jess, to one of her best friends. The words came out smoother after that, Rose denoting a meeting location on Coruscant, but withholding anymore information than that. Leia had made sure she understood that. 

It was night time now, Rose finally left alone in her bed to rest, but the events of the day were still parading around her psyche and keeping her awake. Meeting Rey had certainly been a highlight. The fierce young woman from Jakku had been everything Rose had expected and more. Rose had anticipated the strength, had anticipated the independence and wit. What she hadn’t expected was the softness of Rey’s smile, or the willingness with which Rey had accepted her outstretched hand, taking the embrace as though they’d been life long friends.   
Rose’s heart ached at the memory, not because it had happened, but because of who she wouldn’t be able to share it with. Normally, the act of holding hands with a pretty girl would send her straight into her sister’s direction, seeking Paige out and telling her every detail of the encounter. Paige would laugh and squeeze her arm and let Rose know that she would be honored to meet whomever the new girl was. 

But Paige wasn’t here anymore. Rose slipped her hand under the collar of her shirt, grasping the crescent shape medallion pressed against her skin. Her eyes pierced through the ceiling, imagining that she could see the stars above them, stars that Paige was now apart of. Paige had become a part of hyperspace, serving the cause that she’d loved the most. 

“I have so much to tell you,” Rose whispered, squeezing her eyes shut against the tears that were now falling relentlessly. Rose allowed herself to mourn in the dark isolation of her bedroom, her heart bursting with the pain of sister being gone forever. 

The Tico sisters were no strangers to loss. Their parents had been taken from them by First Order officers back on their home planet of Hays Minor. Rose could still feel the rawness of her throat as she’d screamed at them, the childlike attempt at protecting her parents from the inevitable. Back then, Paige had held onto Rose, grabbing her by the strap on her jacket, wrapping every inch of herself around Rose to protect her. Paige had always protected Rose, with the kind of steadfast loyalty that could only exist between sisters. The necklaces they wore were physical evidence of that bond, proof that Paige would always be with Rose, even after the universe had crueler plans for them. 

Rose wished, while lying alone in the dark, that she had more than a necklace to tell her stories to. She thought of all the people that had just come into her life, of Finn, of Rey, even of Poe, who before now had been no more than a commanding officer of whom she knew little of aside from Jess’s endeared ramblings. Finn had been so kind. Amazingly so. Rose had been so amazed by the story of him, a defective stormtrooper brave enough to turn his back on the order that had crushed so many. The reality of Finn was even better, a man with a charming wit, a trusting personality. Finn’s presence had made the last few weeks easier to withstand. 

Except he didn’t understand. Finn hadn’t known Paige, couldn’t mourn the loss of her like Rose would, or like Jess was about to. Finn had never been the subject of one of Paige’s pep talks, or the butt of her well intended jokes. Paige had never doled Finn a serving of her infamous cold curing soup, or taught him to play a gambling card game, or explained to Finn what it meant when he looked at a girl and his heart stopped working the right way. 

None of that was Finn’s fault, Rose knew. As she rolled over in bed, tears still sliding down her face, Rose wished with her whole being that Finn had had the opportunity to meet Paige. 

 

~~

 

“We’ll be back. I promise.” 

Finn smiled at Rose, standing in the doorframe to her bedroom, where she had perched herself. They’d just landed on Coruscant, where they had set a mission to retrieve Black Squadron. Leia had explained to all of them in a debrief meeting the day before that landing a luxurious ship like the one they’d made home on would look incredibly suspicious in a less developed area, but would seem innocuous on a planet like Coruscant. The planet, from what Finn could remember, was covered in buildings, people, lights, and excitement. 

He had never been before of course, but tales of different planets had made their way down the lines of stormtroopers, all of them sharing information on places they’d been, or where they were from. Cities had always sounded strange to Finn. The atmosphere on Star Killer had been suffocating, a military compound without any of the sights or smells that he imagined could be found in a city. He had been overjoyed at the idea of actually getting to visit Coruscant, even spending time with Kaydel looking at pictures of the planet on her datapad like he was a student doing research for a project. 

The excitement was a little tainted now, as Rose had not earned clearance to leave the ship with them. The medical droid on staff had explained to them that she was not still permitted to walk far distances, and the General had backed that up with the potential danger of Rose not being able to keep up if, for any reason, they needed to make a quick evacuation. 

Everyone knew the General was right, but the disappointed still hung heavily on Rose’s face. 

“How long do you think you guys will be gone for?” Rose asked him, her tone defeated. 

Finn shrugged, the leather of Poe’s repaired jacket squeaking as he did so. “I’m not sure. But we will come back, and we’ll have Jessika.” 

Rose took an audible intake of breath at her friend’s name. “I hope so. Bring her back to me, okay?”

“I will,” Finn nodded, knowing how much Jess meant to Rose. “Again, I promise.” 

Rey’s voice traveled into the room then, and Finn could tell she was yelling up at them from the bottom of the stairs. “Finn! We’re about to leave!” 

Finn gave Rose a last look, taking a few steps too meet her at the bed and place a soft kiss into her hair. “I’ll see you later.” 

She smiled at him as he closed her door, feeling guilty about leaving his friend behind. Originally, Finn has offered to stay with her, but Poe had begged him to come, and Rose had begged him to go. And honestly, Finn had a hard time saying no to Poe Dameron. 

After a quick meeting at the ramp, heavily laden with instructions from Leia to remove any clothing with a Resistance logo (Finn had shed Poe’s leather jacket with a frown) and to keep any conversations with locals short, they were off into the streets of Coruscant. Finn was mesmerized by the lights around them, a full range of colors displayed like a kaleidoscope. Rey was just as distracted, her eyes pin-balling from one place to the next, her mouth hanging open with awe. 

A Twi’lek woman across the street seemed to have caught Rey’s eye, and she was about to make a beeline for the kiosk full of bright sweets when Poe grabbed her elbow, pulling her and Finn in the opposite direction. 

“I hate to do this to you guys, but we’re supposed to meet my squadron this way.” He side stepped a bright yellow humanoid, a species Finn had never seen before, and lead them all down the street. The reminder of why they were on the planet in the first place was a splash of ice water on Finn’s initial excitement. 

“We can’t make any stops?” Rey asked, the disappointment in her voice obvious. 

Poe sighed, and Finn realized then how stressed he must be about the entire ordeal. “On the way back. Okay?” 

Rey harrumphed, crossing her arms over her chest, not unlike a child. Finn couldn’t help but smile at her while he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Maybe we can find something to bring Rose?” 

Rey beamed at the mention of their friend’s name. “I’d like that. Let’s bring her some sweets!” 

“Have you ever had Namana candy?” Finn asked her, the both of them staring at a musk-hound as it scrambled by. 

Poe snickered, a step ahead of them. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Finn.”

“Why not?” Rey asked, looking between the two men. 

“It’s addictive. Once you start eating it you crave more and eventually go through withdrawal. It’s not exactly a delicacy.” 

“Finn!” Rey’s eyes were wide as she shoved her shoulder into him, but she started to laugh. “Let’s try something else.”

They fell into content silence as they walked on, following Poe down alley ways and across packed streets, avoiding speeders as they raced by. Poe could feel the tension in his shoulders as they went, his thoughts racing about as quickly as the vehicles around them. It was now or never, unfortunately. Rose’s message to Black Squadron had dictated a time and meeting place, the Monument Plaza at Coruscant’s peak. If the message had made it to the ears of his friends, then Poe was about to be reunited with the people that mattered to him the most in the world. 

If they’d received the message. It was a big if. 

The four cone shaped statues of Monument Plaza came into view finally, the lights at the base casting a warm glow to the entire square. It almost comforted Poe, seeing shoppers walking by holding hands in the light; a relaxed, albeit busy vibe coming from the scene. His eyes immediately began to search for any sign of Snap, Kare, and Jess. 

“Oh!” Rey squealed suddenly, her arm pointing to something across the way. “Flowers!” 

As acknowledged, a small kiosk sitting towards the outer rim of the square was overflowing the flowers, all shapes, sizes, and colors overflowing onto the stone ground. 

“Poe? Can we go see?” Rey had grabbed Finn’s hand, who in turn glanced at Poe. 

“Yeah,” Poe nodded distractedly, swiping a hand through his hair. “Go ahead.”

Picking up on the nerves yet again, Finn gently let Rey’s hand go, clasping onto Poe’s shoulder. “I’ll stay here for moral support. But you go, Rey, we’ll be here.”

Rey paused for a moment, but began to smile slyly, like she was in on a secret. “I’ll be back then.” Her eyes lingered at the hand on Poe’s shoulder as she turned to leave. 

Poe mustered the best smile he could towards Finn, leaning into the hand on his shoulder a little more than was appropriate. “Thanks buddy.”

They scanned the square for a while, both of them looking for any sign of a flight suit, or even just three people together that resembled Jess, Kare, and Snap. Finn, somewhere in the stress of searching, had grabbed Poe’s hand as a comfort, not realizing until they’d begun to walk around that he was still holding it. To avoid seeming awkward, Finn began to pull away, but Poe was suddenly gripping back fiercely, unwilling to let go. 

Finn turned to look at him, confused, but Poe was staring at something else several feet in front of them. 

Two women were sitting on the ground, their backs against one of the stone pyramids. One of them had long black hair, rustled into a shapeless bun on top of her head. The other had deep brown skin, her blonde hair braided in a complicated fashion around her face. With them, standing and leaning against the stone, was a man in his late fourties, a beard on what Finn could perceive as a kind face. They all looked exhausted, grit streaked on their cheeks and their clothes wrinkled beyond repair, three people that had clearly just been through something. Which is how Finn realized that he’d recognized them from the short amount of time he’d spent at the base on D’Qar.

As soon as Finn had come to his conclusion, Poe was running, dragging Finn by the hand he still held onto with impressive strength. Finn could do nothing but keep up, understanding that he was merely along for the ride. 

“Snap!” Poe yelled, and while several passersby turned to look at them, the three people across the way did not. 

“Jess!” He yelled again, and suddenly they all turned, their tired and forelorn expressions suddenly turning into smiles. 

“Poe!” The girl with dark hair came running (Jess, Finn assumed), meeting Poe halfway through the knotted crowd of Coruscant locals. Jess jumped into Poe’s arms, the gesture forcing him to let go of Finn’s hand, but Finn mourned the loss silently. 

“Jess,” Poe breathed into the embrace as Snap and Kare caught up to them. “I thought we’d lost you.” 

Suddenly, they were both sobbing, unceremoniously and without shame. Jess had tucked herself into Poe’s chest, the past weeks of anxiety and uncertainty crashing over her. 

“We didn’t know what to do. We didn’t know where-“ She choked, and Poe locked his arms around his friend, letting her know that she was finally safe. 

Poe shushed her through his own tears, extending a hand towards the other two. “I will always come back for my squadron. Always.” 

Snap grabbed Poe’s hand in his own, letting Kare sink into his side, her tears mirroring Jess’s. He seemed lost for words, the experiences of the past several days too vast to jump into right now. “Take us home, Poe.” 

Poe nodded, delirious in the moment, drinking in the feel of Snap’s skin on his own, the scent of Jess still curled up into the front of him. Even Kare looked infinitely more beautiful than usual, despite her tears and lack of her typical composure. Poe would be more than happy to guide them back to their newfound home. 

Jess sniffled, pulling away from him. She searched his face for a moment, and he realized, with a sinking pit in his stomach, which question she was about to ask. 

“Poe?” She swallowed, her voice wavering into a whisper, as she looked around them. “Poe… Where’s Paige?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna try...? to upload every Sunday...? I swear more exciting things are coming for this story, I really needed to retrieve these silly pilots before shit got going. Thank you for reading, as usual!


	5. A Promotion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is late! Time got away from me (and honestly, writer's block got ahold of me).

Jessika Pava was 5 years old the first time someone mentioned Luke Skywalker. A shiny AA-589 x wing had been thrust into her chubby child hands by her father, sparking her interest in star fighters. He told her of Luke Skywalker and the Rebellion, of all the creatures, human and otherwise, that had committed their lives to saving the galaxy. 

Jess was 14 the first time she’d read about Luke in detail, discovered his role in the Galactic Civil War and his one in a million shot to take down the Death Star. There was something inspiring about a man that grew up on a farm on Tattooine, rising to heroic standards. Luke Skywalker lit the spark in Jess that convinced her to sign up for the Academy when she was 18. 

It was three weeks after her 21st birthday when the Resistance had come knocking, an ad on the holonet looking for volunteers; engineers, mechanics, pilots, anyone with a skill willing to sacrifice their time and potentially their lives. Jess had barely made time to say goodbye to her parents as she boarded the nearest transport off of Dandoran, the scenery out the windows barely registering in her eyes as she thought of Luke Skywalker and how she’d go to make sure his work wasn’t for naught. 

Jess had come to terms with the possibility of her own death since that day. The reality of the situation was everywhere, in every mission and every well placed blaster shot from an enemy gun. She’d said goodbye too many times to not understand that people died in war, because that was the way this all went. Jess had come to terms with her own mortality by the age of 25, but somehow along the way she’d forgotten that her own girlfriend was mortal too, and she’d forgotten to be prepared. 

The walk back to the Resistance’s new ship felt like a fever dream, Kare’s grip on the back of her shirt and Poe’s weight supporting her steps guiding her in a direction she wasn’t giving attention to. Jess vaguely remembered the Jedi girl, with her dimpled smile and freckled skin, buying sweets from a stand. She and her friend (Finn, Jess could remember) delighted in the way blue juice ran from the hard sugar, staining their tongues and fingers the color of oceans and skies. In any other circumstance, Jess would have delighted with them, explaining which ones were sour, and which ones crackled in your mouth. 

But today was no simple circumstance, and Jess didn’t have the energy for sweets. She squeezed her eyes shut against the memories of her and Paige on another planet, Paige making small talk with a vendor while Jess filled a basket with candy the same color as Rose’s namesake. They’d shared them later that night on a blanket under stars, Paige naming constellations in the sky while Jess made her own down the plane of Paige’s neck. Jess made Paige promise to teach her astronomy so they could share the stars together. But now she knew they’d never have the chance. 

The open ramp of the massive ship was like a pair of welcome arms, but the sight of Rose there, perched on a transport crate, is what brought Jess into a sprint, her legs working again with impressive vigor. The sight of Rose was more than relieving, one Tico left in the galaxy for Jess to find comfort in. 

Jess wrapped her arms around the smaller girl, a fierce embrace mixed with protection and relief. “You’re okay, Rose. Thank the maker.” 

Rose winced in Jess’s arms, pulling gently on her elbows. “A few bumps and bruises, be gentle.”

Jess sprung back, keeping her arms on Rose’s shoulders. “Sorry. Let me look at you.” 

The two women stared at each other, words and emotions welling in their eyes, both of them unsure of where to start. 

“Paige is-“ Rose started, but Jess cut her off. 

“I know. Maker, Rose, I know.” Jess started to cry, her voice no more than a broken whimper. 

Rose tugged the pilot close to her, imagining that if she got close enough, she’d still be able to smell Paige from when she and Jess had last said goodbye. When Paige was still around to say goodbyes. 

“I’m sorry she’s not here to welcome you home.” Rose whispered into Jess’s ear, her own tears dampening dark locks of hair. 

Jess pulled away, only to make eye contact through a glossy haze. “Rose Tico you’ve never been second rate. I’ve always loved you too.” 

Rose felt the damn inside her break, because the words coming from Jessika’s mouth sounded too much like a parrot of Paige’s own mantras. Paige was her one support frame left in life, the rest of her family taken so long ago. Now all she had left were the arms of her dead sister’s girlfriend, quite literally supporting her from hitting the ground. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The next day they were in the air again, the only scenery the passing stars and inky blackness of space. Leia had packed them all into the gallery of the ship, the only room big enough for all of them to fit comfortably. A series of benches circled the room, leaving an open space in the center. Resistance members were everywhere, piled onto seats and spots on the floor, still less cramped than they’d been on the Falcon. Rey was sitting next to Rose on one of the benches, her legs swinging as she explained something animatedly to her friend. There was no room left on the seat since Jess had pressed herself into Rose’s other side, so Finn sat himself at Rey’s feet, Poe sinking down to his right. 

“Don’t I outrank you all? Why do I have to sit on the floor?” Poe leaned back, his head falling into Jessika’s lap. 

“The bench is for the attractive members only.” Jess pecked a kiss to his forehead as he pouted. “Commander.” 

“Believe what you want, Pava, Finn and I are plenty attractive. Right buddy?” 

Finn shrugged, feeling blood rush to his face. “Yeah, we can sit on the bench if we want to.” 

Poe shot Finn a wink as Kaydel walked over, distracting them all. Rey ran a hand over Finn’s cheek, and bent down to whisper “smooth” into his ear. Finn knew she wasn’t referring to his complexion. 

“Connix,” Jess addressed the Lieutenant first. “How’ve you been?” 

Kaydel raised her eyebrows, seemingly surprised that Jess had cared to ask. “This is a war, Jess, we’ve all seen better days. It’s uh, it’s good to have you back.” 

“Good to be back.” Jess’s voice went quiet at the end of her sentence, but she cleared her throat to save it. “You should sit.” 

“Can I?” Kaydel gestured to the space between Finn and Poe, plopping between them when they both nodded. Finn wasn’t whether to be disappointed or relieved by the body between them. 

Rey was tapping her toes into Finn’s back gently (carefully avoiding the line of his scars), which would have been annoying if it hadn’t felt so good. He leaned back to look at her, his head in her lap like Poe’s had just been in Jess’s. 

“Am I squishing you?”

“No,” Rey smirked, smoothing her hand over his cheek again. “Should I stop kicking you?”

“No,” Finn returned her smile. “I like it.” 

General Organa cleared her throat then, and the mumblings amongst the crowd shrunk to silence. Leia was dressed in a new set of robes, still the deep grey she’d taken to wearing, but the fabric seemed softer, more luxurious. Her hair was pulled back as always, woven around her crown like a fine sculpture. The older woman looked remarkably more rested than the last time she’d addressed them as a group. 

“Thank you for coming. I hope you’ve all been enjoying yourselves.” 

Someone in the back whooped, and they all chuckled softly. The last few days on the ship had seemed like an out of place vacation. All of the good food and amenities on board had been the least of everyone’s expectations after their encounter with the First Order. Their time spent aboard that ship had been mostly pleasure, and very little business. 

“While you’ve all been enjoying yourselves, Lando has been helping me strategize. I won’t mince words with you all because you’re smarter than that. Rebuilding the Resistance is going to be very difficult. We’ve taken too many blows for this to be easy, but Lando isn’t our only ally.” 

There was an open space left next to someone Finn recognized from the sanitation department on one of the benches, and Leia walked over to it. “May I?”  
The young man nodded, moving over to give his superior more than enough room. 

“Thank you. I’m too old to be standing for that long.” The General made herself comfortable, leaning back in a position that was far more relaxed than she usually would have taken while addressing all of them. “We have a stop in a few days on Yavin Four. There are remnants from the rebel base there and we can grab what we can as far as beds go. I’d like to start taking recruits and I know you’re all already sharing sleeping arrangements.” 

“We’re taking new recruits?” Kaydel piped from her spot, earning Leia’s attention. 

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, Kaydel, but our numbers are down.” Leia smiled sadly, as to reassure them that she was not being unkind. “And there’s power in numbers when it comes to war. So yes, we will have many of you hitting the ground and taking whomever wants to join.” 

“How will we know if anyone we take is a spy for the First Order?”

“We won’t,” Leia shrugged. “That’s why our recruiters will need to be very good at their jobs. Which reminds me of my other point; I’m going to be reassigning many of you to new ranks.”

A dull chorus of voices began to echo off the walls, most of them positive, but the occasional objection rang through. Even in a volunteer organization, members took their ranks very seriously. Most of the Resistance members had once belonged to the Republic military and had the rank system engrained in them. 

“No one is being demoted, so don’t let me hear any complaining about that. We need more leaders. If you’ll remember, we lost most of our leadership when the attack started. So, some of you will have to step it up.” Leia turned her attention to Poe, her eyes twinkling with something they couldn’t quite place. “Admiral Dameron. Don’t kriff this up.” 

If Poe had been drinking something, it would have spewed across the floor in front of him. “Me? You want me to be an Admiral?”

“Should I give Wexley the position?” 

“No,” both Poe and Snap protested in unison. 

“Then congratulations. I wouldn’t have assigned it if I didn’t believe that you were capable.” 

Leia went around the room in just as casual a fashion, assigning members new ranks, some far less of a promotion than Poe’s, but others just as big. Kaydel was promoted to Commander, Poe hooting and hollering as her wrapped her in his arms in celebration. Leia had just about made it all the way around the room when she landed on Finn. 

“And Finn. I’d like you to lead our recruitment team. Congratulations, Commander.” 

Leia was smiling at him, but Finn could only feel the burn of 50 pairs of eyes on him. 

“General- I… Thank you.” He was grounded only by Rey squeezing his shoulders, the idea of himself being given such a high position sending him reeling. 

“You have shown an unbelievable amount of loyalty to this cause, Finn. It’s not as much as you deserve, but I’m afraid it’s the most that I can offer you.” She gave him a nod, turning back to the room.

The meeting ended shortly after, but Finn had paid little attention to it. His mind was somersaulting with the idea that Leia trusted him with something so huge, that he would get to be the face of a cause as important as the Resistance. Finn thought of his years with the First Order, felt the anger towards them boil into his bloodstream. Being this involved in the Resistance was the perfect was to get revenge on them for the years of his life that had been stolen away. 

Finn looked over at Poe, laughing with his friends and hugging everyone that had been promoted. Finn looked to Rey, tucked into a conversation with the General, their faces serious but no longer somber. Finn would do this for them, for every Resistance member on board that had helped him feel like a person instead of an ex-stormtrooper. Finn would do this for everyone that helped FN-2187 remain in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've aged Jess Pava up for the sake of this story. I usually write her at about 23 years old but 25 seemed to make more sense given her military background. I hope you've all been enjoying so far! This has been fairly light on Rey, just because of the story line, so I promise she will be more present in the upcoming chapters, if that's who you're here for.


	6. A Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone gets drunk, someone gets punched, someone gets a reality check.

“So tell me about.... all this.”

“All what?”

Rey and Rose were in Rose’s bedroom, killing time before they had to make an appearance at the party the pilots were hosting. Rey was tucked into the chair next to the bed while Rose fussed with her hair in the mirror on the wall. 

“What’s a pilot party like?” Rey fiddled with the edge of her tunic, trying not to stare at Rose’s reflection in the mirror.

Rose rolled her eyes in response. “Well, there’s drinking. A lot of drinking, so don’t feel pressured to keep up. Something always gets broken, Poe always starts singing, and Kaydel never goes. So it’s a miracle that we got her to say yes.”

“That sounds overwhelming.”

Rose turned to look at Rey, her hair halfway into a ponytail. “We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“No I want to!” Rey’s voice was uncharacteristically shrill. “I’m just uh. New to parties.”

Rose’s expression fell somewhere between sympathy and amusement. “Are you saying you want to take it easy, or we’re going all out?”

“I dunno.” Rey shrugged, turning her attention to the little flower on Rose’s bedside table. “Hey, your rose still looks nice.”

The little pink rose (now residing in a drinking glass on the table by Rose’s bed), had been retrieved by Rey while on their mission to retrieve Jess and the other pilots. The flower stand was unlike anything Rey had ever seen, overflowing with every color and shape of flower she could name, and even more that she couldn’t. One bud in particular had caught her attention, the bright crimson petals unfolding in perfect symmetry, the scent soft and powdery. The shop keeper had told Rey that they were called roses, and she immediately knew who to buy one for. 

The red ones were striking, Rey had to admit, but the color reminded her of terrible things like blood, the shiny finish of the Imperial Guards, and the crackling sizzle of Kylo Ren’s lightsaber blade. So she picked out a pink one, the color of Rose’s cheeks when she blushed. Rey walked away satisfied, coming to the realization that she really hated the color red.

“It’s keeping very well.” Rose finished her hair, taking the steps around the bed to sit across from Rey. “Thank you again for bringing it to me.”

Rose was staring at the freckles scattered on Rey's nose when a knock on the door interrupted Rey’s response, and Finn burst in, his chest heaving from exertion.

“Do I look okay?” He spun for them, catching his reflection in the mirror and wiping invisible dust from his shirt.

“You look fine. You look like... Finn. You look like Finn.” Rey shrugged at him, not sure what the fuss was about. They spent every second of their day with the people attending the party, what was with the focus on appearances?

Rose was squinting at her friend, analyzing his appearance head to toe. “Unbutton that top button. Cuff the pants one time.... yeah. That’s perfect.”

“Thank you, Rose, for the helpful response.” His tone was sarcastic as he shot Rey a look.

“I said you look fine!” Rey laughed, adjusting her position in the chair. “What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal is that I don’t want to look fine, Rey. This is a party!" 

"And?" Rey scrunched her nose up at him, before looking over to Rose for help.

"I think what he's trying to say is that um," Rose swallowed, reaching out to brush something from her shoulder. "Well, your aesthetic is certainly more weathered than some." 

"She's as sandy as a jawa, that's what she is."

"Finn!" Both of the girls exclaimed, but Finn was unphased as he turned to leave the room. 

"I'll see you two at the party." He winked at his friend, ignoring the scowl she sent him but wondering if she was well versed enough in the force for it to actually harm him. 

Rey turned to Rose once he'd left, pouting a little. "Do I look okay?"

"Ignore him," Rose shook her head, "You look adorable."

Rose realized what she'd said just a beat too late and violently hoped Rey didn't notice the sudden burn in her cheeks. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything Rose had said about the party earlier had been true, but Rey also noted that she'd failed to mention some important details. Snap had insisted on playing strip sabbac, which no one but Jess had agreed to. Now she was making the rounds in just her breast band and pants, while Snap had gotten away with only removing is shoes and socks (Jess had lost miserably). Rose had also failed to mention that alcohol tasted more like engine fuel than something meant for human consumption, and no one had warned Rey that when she drank Correllian whiskey, it made her force sensitivity sparkle like a tangible entity. 

Rey could see the auras of her friends in varying colors, their forces glittering and swirling around them like the aurora borealis. Finn was yellow; warm and sunny, burning brighter whenever Poe whispered something in his ear that made him laugh. Rose was pink sometimes but also purple; the colors moved in and out like a light show, an ever entertaining display of her sweetness. Poe's colors were also putting on a show, fading from a yellow green that complimented Finn's to a soft blue that reminded Rey of the crystalline shade of water. She had never experienced this before, but it was a welcome distraction from Rose's proximity to her. 

It was a curiosity that Rey had never experienced before. Not the auras, but the way her body felt when Rose was present. It was a good feeling, though startling at first. Jakku hadn't exactly been a hotspot of people for Rey to have a crush on, so at first Rey had thought something was wrong with her. Poe had laughed when she mentioned it to him. 

"You have a crush on her, Rey," The pilot had explained through a mouthful of breakfast.

Rey had startled at that, her head shaking furiously. "I don't want to crush her!"

Poe shook his head, trying his best not to laugh and hurt her feelings. "Not what I meant. When you hang out with Rose, do you feel... tingly? Or do you hope that whatever you say is smart of funny because you feel like you want to impress her?" 

Rey hadn't thought of it that way before, but what Poe had said was true. Rose was so smart, that every time they fell upon the topic of mechanics, Rey desperately hoped that she wouldn't say anything stupid. They'd even spent an afternoon taking apart the housekeeping droid just for something to do, and Rey felt more stressed than before, having over analyzed every word, action, or facial expression she'd made. The heightened sense of self awareness was worse than anything Luke had put her through on that forsaken island. 

"Hey. Are you alright?" Rose's voice snapped Rey out of her thoughts, returning to the party in front of them. She smiled when Rey nodded, bumping their shoulders together. "I'm going to get another drink, want anything?"

Rey wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "I think I've reached my capacity for this stuff tonight. I'll keep your spot warm while you're gone." 

Rose smiled in thanks, and Rey mourned the loss of her warmth next to her when she left. 

Rose had to pass Jess and Poe to get to the drink table, where they were playing with the pool sticks like light sabers again, their arms already polka dotted with queue shaped bruises. Rose rolled her eyes as she passed them, narrowly avoiding a swing from Poe. "Put a shirt on, Pava." 

"Absolutely not!" Jess barked, taking a shot at Poe. "Besides, Connix likes it."

"Oh, leave me out of this," Kaydel rolled her eyes, taking a swig of the liquid in her glass. "Don't blame me for your sudden experimentation with exhibitionism."

"Always the 50 point words with you, huh?" Jess laughed as Poe's queue rapped her elbow, earning a screech. "Ow! Kriff!" 

"Sorry!" Poe surrendered, his hands in the air. "You were closer than I expected you to be." 

Jess nursed her elbow, cupping it into her left hand with a pout. "Finn, kiss it better." 

Finn, who'd been sitting next to Kaydel and had consumed more than enough alcohol to have the good nature to play along, ushered her over to them.

"Come here, let me see," Finn cradled Jess's arm gently, and Kaydel rolled her eyes as he pressed his lips to the skin beginning to purple from the impact. "You'll be alright." 

"I may never fly again," Jess shook her head and pretended to cry. "Dameron you've wounded me, I'm a flightless bird." 

"Man, Jess, I'm sorry." Poe wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. "Guess you're out of the running for fastest pilot in the Resistance then huh?"

Jess gasped, sending a fist out to wallop her friend, "No! I'm fine!"

Finn laughed as the two of them began to wrestle, the both of them too intoxicated to be doing any real damage to the other. A happy buzz prickled at his skin, enjoying the amusement while also reflecting on how content he was with his place in the Resistance. His empty cup may also have contributed to that buzz, as his tongue had acclimated to the burning sensation of the whiskey after his third sip and he hadn't yet cut himself off. Now seemed a good a time as any to continue that venture, but as Finn tried to maneuver his way to the refill table, he accidentally bumped into one of the crew members he didn't quite recognize. 

"Hey man, I'm sorry." Finn held out a hand to shake with apology, but also to introduce himself. "I'm Finn, by the way."

"Yeah I know who you are. Stormtrooper." The man all but spat the last word, the venom in his voice taking Finn off guard.

"What did you just call him?" Poe appeared out of no where, the easy smile that had been on his face replaced with a ferociousness that Finn had yet to see. 

"Just telling the trooper here to watch his step, but we all know they aren't so hot about accuracy." 

Poe stepped forward in between Finn and his antagonist, "His name," Poe shoved the man, forcing him to take a step back, "is Finn." 

"Yeah I remember," The man smiled, unphased by Poe's touch. "FN-2187." 

Before anyone else could react, Poe had swung a punch, his knuckles connecting squarely to the guy's cheekbones. The man cursed, his own fist suddenly aiming for Poe's face. Poe dodged it, luckily, but before he could make another move Jess was on him, holding his arms behind his back. 

"Snap! Help me out here!" 

Snap grabbed Poe's assailant, and he and Jess managed to pull the two away from them as they slung curse words back and forth at each other. Poe was fighting against Jess's grip, wiggling away from her. 

"Jess, let me go!"

"Not until you can learn to behave, huh Admiral?" The last word was not said out of respect, but in a way that reminded Poe of his new position in charge of these people. "How about you take a break before you lose that tile, huh?" 

Poe sighed, hunching his shoulders with defeat. Finn made a move to speak to him, but Poe mumbled something incomprehensible and turned to leave the room. Jess placed a hand at his forearm, pulling his attention away from Poe's retreating back. 

"Let him take a breather." Jess's eyes were wide with concern, searching Finn's face for something unknown. "You okay?" 

"Yeah," Finn looked at her with a puzzled expression. "Why wouldn't I be? Poe was the one swinging punches."

Jess swallowed, not removing her grip on his arm. "You know none of us think badly about you, right? About your time as, er, with the First Order." 

Finn sighed, nodding. "Yeah Jess, I know." He rubbed a hand over his face, suddenly wishing that he'd drank a little less.

He wracked his brain, trying to figure out why Poe had so readily come to his defense. How could Finn, an ex stormtrooper that apparently had enemies, be worth sabotaging Poe's new ranking in the Resistance?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Poe had quarantined himself into Rose's room (the closest one he could find with a door), letting the anger in his system wear itself out. The knuckles on his right hand throbbed, a reminder of the impulsiveness that overtook him whilst under the influence. It had been a long time since Poe Dameron had fought anyone like that, as far back as the Academy even. Years of military training and life or death situations had given him excellent critical thinking skills, but apparently not when it came to Finn.

A knock on the door caught his attention; it was too light to be Finn's and Snap would have just entered. Poe shut his eyes, wishing they would go away. "Jess, I really don't feel like talking to you right now." 

The door opened and Karè walked in, a glass of water in her hand. "Well, I'm not Jess, so do you feel like talking to me?" 

Poe shook his head, eyeing her suspiciously as she extended the water towards him. 

"You seemed like you could use this." 

He took the cup begrudgingly, taking a cautious sip. "Will you leave after I drink this?"

Karè shook her head as she sat down next to him on the mattress. "Not until we talk about what just happened."

"Nothing happened." Poe shrugged, staring into his lap. 

"Oh really? Were we at different parties?" 

He rolled his eyes at her, sighing in defeat. For once in his life, he was at a loss for words, so he took another long swig of water to fill the silence. 

“When are you going to tell Finn you have feelings for him?”

Poe choked, setting his glass of water on the table next to him. “Come again?”

“None of us are blind, Poe.” Karè shot him a look, rolling her eyes. “You haven’t thrown ‘buddy’ around this much since Muran.” 

“Don’t bring him into this.” Poe sighed, letting his head fall into his hands. 

“Poe-“

“Stop, Karè. We aren’t doing this.” He stood, pointing his left hand towards the door. “Just leave me alone for a while.” 

Karè stayed where she was, crossing her arms. “I’m not leaving until you sit down and talk to me about this. You can’t spend the rest of your life punching people and ignoring your feelings for Finn.”

“I don’t have feelings for Finn.” 

“Yeah, and Pava is straight as the day is long.” 

Poe rolled his eyes, sitting back onto the table next to her. “You’re impossible.” 

“I’m right.” 

“Yeah.” Poe sighed, pressing his palms into his eye sockets. “You’re right.” 

“Why haven’t you said anything to him?” 

“He’s a- he’s a stormtrooper, Karè!” He winced, running a hand through his hair. “That didn’t come out right.”

Karè snorted with agreement, but let Poe continue. 

“I can’t imagine what it was like to grow up under the First Order. I don’t even think they were allowed to have friends, or attachments.” 

“Like being a Jedi. With an even more terrible wardrobe.” 

Poe shrugged, ignoring her. “I’m older than him. A lot older, I think.”

“So? Snap is older than me.”

“Yeah but... is it weird? I feel like I’m this... predatory weirdo. He’s young and new to this world of freedom. I can’t jump on him before he figures out what he wants.” 

“Poe.” Karè slipped her hand onto his forearm, her fingers chilly against his alcohol induced heat. “Have you taken the time to ask Finn what he wants?” 

Poe shook his head, staring down at his feet. 

“Maybe you should be having this conversation with him instead of me.” 

“Karè, I-“

“Poe. We all know what happened to Muran messed you up. It messed us up to. But you can’t do this to yourself, Muran wouldn’t want you to feel this way.”

“What if I’m dishonoring him?” 

“The only way you’ll dishonor him is if you don’t take a chance with Finn. Promise me you will.” 

Poe released a shaky breath, taking Karè‘s hand on his arm into his own. “I promise.” He leaned forward, placing a kiss to her cheek. “Thank you.” 

“We want the best for our Commander.” 

Poe smirked. “It’s Admiral now.”

“Yeah. Whatever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me forever and a day! I'm a college student again after having taken a very long break, and the work load is kicking my ass tbh. It left me pretty uninspired in regards to this story but I really want to push through, because I have big ideas for these characters!
> 
> Side note, Muran is a canon star wars character. He was an x-wing pilot on Rapier squadron with Kare and Poe, and most of the internet head canons that he and Poe were together before Muran died. I am definitely part of that population. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this! Leave me nice words to help pull me from my writer's block curse.

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a lot. It's all outlined and half written, but I already know it's going to be long and I might make you cry, so uh, sorry. I have a note on my phone that I literally just vomit content into sometimes if I think of a really good paragraph/ chapter/ plot point, etc, and the other day I realized that they would all come together really beautifully in a story. So this is the product of that. I hope you enjoyed!


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